Mesa, I hear you. I had never come across this man before. Still, what unfolded in your words felt very familiar. A man raised in a system where power so often equals entitlement. A culture that builds men this way and then seems shocked when they act accordingly.
Over these past eight months, I have spent much time listening, reading, and reflecting. I started to grasp how deeply different the American socialisation of women is from what I know here in Europe. Even when on the surface it all appears to overlap, the differences underneath run wide and deep.
What struck me most is the scale of religious influence, beauty standards that pierce into every layer of life, racism baked into the very structure of society. Add to that an exhausting drive to succeed while basic social protections are fragile or absent. Over here, we know basic healthcare, paid medical leave, unemployment pay. We do not walk through life with the same background hum of gun violence or barricaded schools.
And this hero worship — pastors, politicians, celebrities raised to near-mythic status. It creates its own monsters. Then the culture stands by, as if this were not entirely its own making.
You ask where to begin. For me, it starts with no longer looking away. Speaking about what we see. Staying present even when the patterns repeat. And yes — I see that power can distort anyone, across all genders. We need to remain awake to that as well.
I stopped watching Hollywood films some time ago. I noticed my nervous system could no longer absorb the pace, the undertone of hate and racism, the sexism so often still scripted into the female leads. It became clear to me — the stories had not changed, only the costumes had.
Reading your words here simply affirms this for me again. We speak, we stay present, we keep naming what is here — this is how the current begins to shift.
Damn it. I’ve been intentionally not looking that closely at Leto for over a decade, knowing something like this would emerge if we collectively did, and I REALLY wanted to keep loving him. He’s been notorious for kink, specifically BDSM, which I completely support when done responsibly, but clearly that’s not how this was. I too had a deep crush on Jordan, and I love 30 Seconds to Mars. I’m getting increasingly grossed out by men, and am in total support of a matriarchal society. I have partially formed thoughts about how the teacher/student affairs are a little bit of a different dynamic, but I’ll form them better before putting them to the page, and I’m certainly not excusing that behavior either. In the past couple years I’ve stopped dating, almost completely stopped reading male authors, and have felt much safer in my female friendships than my male ones. I’m self-employed and don’t plan on ever working for a man again, and I seek out women as my health care professionals. I took each of these steps separately and not as part of an intentional shift, but I can tell you my life is measurably less chaotic with these changes.
I’m with you- I intentionally buried my head about him too. Now it makes me wonder if the cult jokes might be true? 🤦🏻♀️🫠
I intentionally seek out female doctors for my care and would love to not have to work in the male dominated field I’m in. Thank you so much for sharing the changes you’ve made and your thoughts with me 🖤🖤
I think it's particularly troubling because he presented himself as progressive and inclusive in terms of his sexuality. We think of someone like him being the victim rather than a perpetrator of violence. I suppose the two are not mutually exclusive. I'm sad that it doesn't surprise me when I hear that a good looking and talented actor is also a sexual predator.
Ewwwwwww. Sigh. Sucks - but yeah not surprised. I met him at a Hollywood party a few years ago. Everyone was sucking up to him because they thought he might get nominated for his role in HOUSE OF GUCCI. I don't know if he did. Anyway....ewww. I agree, it's hard not to take 9 women seriously. I hate that it even has to come to that.
Right?! 9 women!! I’m sure there’s more. Just sad and stupid to be honest. He could literally have almost any woman he wanted.. and he chose teenagers.. Ugh.
oh NoOoO. Another one bites the dust. I hate this. I agree a matriarchy might be just as messy, but at this point LET'S GIVE IT A TRY. ANYTHING ELSE could be better. :/ Thank you for being my news source and I am sorry you lost a FAVE via idiocy. *Pours one out
Sorry, Mesa. You know what they say about meeting your heroes. Nine women is a lot of women. Hard to deny. And, I mean, everyone loves young women, but I'm with Bill Burr - he made a joke about 50 year old men in bars alone...he said, you're supposed to help young people, not try to f#@k them
This one hurts because he was on our bedroom walls as teens. But there's also been something a little "off" about him in the past several years. This one & Neil Gaiman have upset me the most. But, as you said, it's not shocking anymore. That's the real problem with it all. We are no longer shocked at the next name that comes up. I was 13 years old when I was trafficked & there were police officers taking part in buying me. So I don't trust any men because I feel they are all predators; that's not ok!
It saddens me to no end to see yet another successful good looking man fall into this horrific end. All I can say is men are pigs. As a child sexual abuse survivor it sickens me.
It will never not be present. The inclination to dominate in some men.
Entire societies have kept this imbalance in place. It’s about not only exerting power, but also about suppressing the inclination of human beings who happen to be female to achieve equal rights - and god forbid (deliberate pun) and parity.
Look at what’s happening here with the Republican Congress.
Mesa, I hear you. I had never come across this man before. Still, what unfolded in your words felt very familiar. A man raised in a system where power so often equals entitlement. A culture that builds men this way and then seems shocked when they act accordingly.
Over these past eight months, I have spent much time listening, reading, and reflecting. I started to grasp how deeply different the American socialisation of women is from what I know here in Europe. Even when on the surface it all appears to overlap, the differences underneath run wide and deep.
What struck me most is the scale of religious influence, beauty standards that pierce into every layer of life, racism baked into the very structure of society. Add to that an exhausting drive to succeed while basic social protections are fragile or absent. Over here, we know basic healthcare, paid medical leave, unemployment pay. We do not walk through life with the same background hum of gun violence or barricaded schools.
And this hero worship — pastors, politicians, celebrities raised to near-mythic status. It creates its own monsters. Then the culture stands by, as if this were not entirely its own making.
You ask where to begin. For me, it starts with no longer looking away. Speaking about what we see. Staying present even when the patterns repeat. And yes — I see that power can distort anyone, across all genders. We need to remain awake to that as well.
I stopped watching Hollywood films some time ago. I noticed my nervous system could no longer absorb the pace, the undertone of hate and racism, the sexism so often still scripted into the female leads. It became clear to me — the stories had not changed, only the costumes had.
Reading your words here simply affirms this for me again. We speak, we stay present, we keep naming what is here — this is how the current begins to shift.
Damn it. I’ve been intentionally not looking that closely at Leto for over a decade, knowing something like this would emerge if we collectively did, and I REALLY wanted to keep loving him. He’s been notorious for kink, specifically BDSM, which I completely support when done responsibly, but clearly that’s not how this was. I too had a deep crush on Jordan, and I love 30 Seconds to Mars. I’m getting increasingly grossed out by men, and am in total support of a matriarchal society. I have partially formed thoughts about how the teacher/student affairs are a little bit of a different dynamic, but I’ll form them better before putting them to the page, and I’m certainly not excusing that behavior either. In the past couple years I’ve stopped dating, almost completely stopped reading male authors, and have felt much safer in my female friendships than my male ones. I’m self-employed and don’t plan on ever working for a man again, and I seek out women as my health care professionals. I took each of these steps separately and not as part of an intentional shift, but I can tell you my life is measurably less chaotic with these changes.
I’m with you- I intentionally buried my head about him too. Now it makes me wonder if the cult jokes might be true? 🤦🏻♀️🫠
I intentionally seek out female doctors for my care and would love to not have to work in the male dominated field I’m in. Thank you so much for sharing the changes you’ve made and your thoughts with me 🖤🖤
I think it's particularly troubling because he presented himself as progressive and inclusive in terms of his sexuality. We think of someone like him being the victim rather than a perpetrator of violence. I suppose the two are not mutually exclusive. I'm sad that it doesn't surprise me when I hear that a good looking and talented actor is also a sexual predator.
Exactly. He always presented himself as being so open.. and now this. Just makes me sad.
Ewwwwwww. Sigh. Sucks - but yeah not surprised. I met him at a Hollywood party a few years ago. Everyone was sucking up to him because they thought he might get nominated for his role in HOUSE OF GUCCI. I don't know if he did. Anyway....ewww. I agree, it's hard not to take 9 women seriously. I hate that it even has to come to that.
Right?! 9 women!! I’m sure there’s more. Just sad and stupid to be honest. He could literally have almost any woman he wanted.. and he chose teenagers.. Ugh.
oh NoOoO. Another one bites the dust. I hate this. I agree a matriarchy might be just as messy, but at this point LET'S GIVE IT A TRY. ANYTHING ELSE could be better. :/ Thank you for being my news source and I am sorry you lost a FAVE via idiocy. *Pours one out
I just realized I replied to Bon Bon. Hi B. Love you.
Sorry, Mesa. You know what they say about meeting your heroes. Nine women is a lot of women. Hard to deny. And, I mean, everyone loves young women, but I'm with Bill Burr - he made a joke about 50 year old men in bars alone...he said, you're supposed to help young people, not try to f#@k them
This one hurts because he was on our bedroom walls as teens. But there's also been something a little "off" about him in the past several years. This one & Neil Gaiman have upset me the most. But, as you said, it's not shocking anymore. That's the real problem with it all. We are no longer shocked at the next name that comes up. I was 13 years old when I was trafficked & there were police officers taking part in buying me. So I don't trust any men because I feel they are all predators; that's not ok!
It saddens me to no end to see yet another successful good looking man fall into this horrific end. All I can say is men are pigs. As a child sexual abuse survivor it sickens me.
It will never not be present. The inclination to dominate in some men.
Entire societies have kept this imbalance in place. It’s about not only exerting power, but also about suppressing the inclination of human beings who happen to be female to achieve equal rights - and god forbid (deliberate pun) and parity.
Look at what’s happening here with the Republican Congress.
Oh I know, I realize that. I just wonder if we’ll ever be able to see it change?
It has in my lifetime - and now this push back .. we’ll fight it. No choice.
We have already pledged our daughters and granddaughters to fight it after all.
I love you. I hate this. Thank you for using your voice my sweet soulweird!
I love you my soulweird!! I hate it too. 🤬🤬🤬