Jared Leto Allegations and Young Women as Prey
Tale as old as time.
I opened my instagram feed to find a headline that both saddens me and thoroughly disappoints me. I was also not surprised, which made me pause. I have long heard rumors that my most favorite artist liked younger women, but I always took that to mean he liked 20+ year olds - not teenagers. I was trying to hold onto my naivety. I wanted to keep my heart shaped glasses on and just admire him for his beauty and artistry and not dive into who he was as a person outside of his celebrity. Admittedly I still wish I could hold onto that, but the blinders are off.
I can’t look away.
Especially from this-
At this time, Leto has denied all allegations. Which is the same song and dance every man (especially a high profile man) does when accused of being a predator. Maybe he’s innocent. I’m skeptical and highly doubtful of that, given that there’s 9 women who’ve come forward. What’s the old adage? Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
When I saw the headline, I read it out loud to my husband- who was also not surprised in the slightest. And then I promptly asked him why do men do this? Why do men always want to go after extra young women? What is it about teenage girls who seem to fall victim to this sort of predator?
We had an interesting discussion about it coming down to men in power wanting an easily manipulated target. I suppose that makes sense. Men in power seem to see women as objects - even if they’re supposed to be peers. It’s why it’s a tale as old as time. Why we continue to see headlines like Leto’s over and over. Why it’s not surprising anymore.
So what do we do about it?
How do we stop men from preying on young women (or just women in general)? It’s the same question that keeps getting asked over and over again. It’s always about power in the end. Maybe if people were not held up on insane pedestals and given more power than is necessary- it would be a start?
I don’t know. I certainly don’t have the answers. But I am forever curious about this dynamic in society. It seems quite literally baked into our DNA. Even if I look at our Chimpanzee ancestors - this power structure is there. The only exception to the rule seems to be Bonobos - they are a matriarchy.
Can we as a species get there one day? Would a matriarchy be possible for us?
But even women can be predatory. I see multiple headlines of older women going after young teenage boys all the time- typically it’s teacher/student relationships. Again- a power dynamic. Just in a different way. Another thing to be curious about.
I don’t see any real answers to address this yet, and maybe we never will. Maybe it’s just something built into us and we’ll always have to deal with it, no matter how many laws and regulations we put into place.
What are your thoughts? Please feel free to share with me!
And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go be mad about having lost all respect for one of my most favorites ever. I’ll never look at Jordan Catalano the same.
Mesa, I hear you. I had never come across this man before. Still, what unfolded in your words felt very familiar. A man raised in a system where power so often equals entitlement. A culture that builds men this way and then seems shocked when they act accordingly.
Over these past eight months, I have spent much time listening, reading, and reflecting. I started to grasp how deeply different the American socialisation of women is from what I know here in Europe. Even when on the surface it all appears to overlap, the differences underneath run wide and deep.
What struck me most is the scale of religious influence, beauty standards that pierce into every layer of life, racism baked into the very structure of society. Add to that an exhausting drive to succeed while basic social protections are fragile or absent. Over here, we know basic healthcare, paid medical leave, unemployment pay. We do not walk through life with the same background hum of gun violence or barricaded schools.
And this hero worship — pastors, politicians, celebrities raised to near-mythic status. It creates its own monsters. Then the culture stands by, as if this were not entirely its own making.
You ask where to begin. For me, it starts with no longer looking away. Speaking about what we see. Staying present even when the patterns repeat. And yes — I see that power can distort anyone, across all genders. We need to remain awake to that as well.
I stopped watching Hollywood films some time ago. I noticed my nervous system could no longer absorb the pace, the undertone of hate and racism, the sexism so often still scripted into the female leads. It became clear to me — the stories had not changed, only the costumes had.
Reading your words here simply affirms this for me again. We speak, we stay present, we keep naming what is here — this is how the current begins to shift.
Damn it. I’ve been intentionally not looking that closely at Leto for over a decade, knowing something like this would emerge if we collectively did, and I REALLY wanted to keep loving him. He’s been notorious for kink, specifically BDSM, which I completely support when done responsibly, but clearly that’s not how this was. I too had a deep crush on Jordan, and I love 30 Seconds to Mars. I’m getting increasingly grossed out by men, and am in total support of a matriarchal society. I have partially formed thoughts about how the teacher/student affairs are a little bit of a different dynamic, but I’ll form them better before putting them to the page, and I’m certainly not excusing that behavior either. In the past couple years I’ve stopped dating, almost completely stopped reading male authors, and have felt much safer in my female friendships than my male ones. I’m self-employed and don’t plan on ever working for a man again, and I seek out women as my health care professionals. I took each of these steps separately and not as part of an intentional shift, but I can tell you my life is measurably less chaotic with these changes.