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Phoenix hogg's avatar

Thank you for your episode. August sounds like a tough month for us both. It's my mum's birthday and other members of family who I'm now longer no contact for me own sanity. I'm grateful for feeling less alone in my sucidal ideation.

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Mesa Fama's avatar

It’s one of the toughest for sure. You’re so very much not alone, Phoenix 🐦‍🔥 ❤️

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Phoenix hogg's avatar

Sending you a big hug ❤️⭐

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Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

So not alone Phoenix. 🐦‍🔥 💛

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Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

Mesa, thank you for your presence here. Do you celebrate your Mom’s memory this month? My Mom passed in August 8 years ago. I sometimes cook her favorite meal or tell stories of her life to others. Tears usually come but all feelings are welcome. I have to remind myself that sometimes.

Congratulations on the NYT!! You’ve been creating and weaving language for years and I’m glad your work is getting published there. Bravo!! 🎉

Thank you for your heart, friend. Open and true.

Let’s keep going!

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Mesa Fama's avatar

Thank you sister! I do try to celebrate her life in small ways, today I’m making homemade chocolate chip cookies again using her recipe. And I’ll probably make her favorite meal this week.

It’s still so strange that I can’t call her all these years later.

I’ll keep going if you do!! 😍😍😍 Xoxo

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Constellations In Her Bones's avatar

Yummmmm…..cookies!

So hard. I understand. A beautiful way to celebrate her memory and your connection!

So much love to you.

Yes. Let’s keep going! Xoxo

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Ruhie Vaidya's avatar

Thank you for sharing Mesa! Anniversary months are tough, and I can imagine juggling present joys with sadness over those we’ve lost doesn’t get easier. But as you so rightly point out, it’s important to keep in mind the things we are grateful for and that give our lives meaning 💛

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Ruhie Vaidya's avatar

Also congrats on NYT!!! So exciting 😃

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Mesa Fama's avatar

Thanks a bunch 😍😍 I’m so excited for this piece to come out!!

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Mesa Fama's avatar

Thank you, Ruhie ❤️❤️ I appreciate you taking the time to listen ❤️❤️

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Rosemary Writes & Recovers 🌹's avatar

Gah. How fun to hear your voice, Mesa. Listening to you share your heart I felt as though I were sitting down to tea with a dear friend. Hearing all your hard made me want to reach through my lil iPhone and hug you.

I lost my mother in 2008 (if I did my math right, you did as well?) and it unmoored me in ways I could not anticipate. It set off a kind of grief addiction that completely blindsided me. Her death left a hole in my family from which we have never recovered. My oldest sister, who we lost a year ago September to heart disease (I think it was broken heart disease) , attempted suicide shortly after. I’m one who survived an attempt as a teen. It’s not often, but I can get so in my dark place that I do have the thought of not being worthy of being alive.

I’m so grateful you are here, Mesa. I’m grateful I’m here. I’m grateful for my sobriety and for Substack. I’m grateful for my daughter softening towards me . I’m grateful for my boyfriend being a steady in my storms.

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Mesa Fama's avatar

Oh Rosemary! We have so much in common.. yes, I lost my mom in 2008 and her death also has left a void.

My first attempt was when I was 19. My brain is a dark trickster sometimes.

I’m so glad we’re connected here! And I am glad you have so much to be grateful for ❤️❤️ Thank you for being here!!

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Rosemary Writes & Recovers 🌹's avatar

You are one I will need to hug someday ❤️

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Mesa Fama's avatar

Right back at you!! Xoxo

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Amy Gabrielle's avatar

Can I just say that August sucks? I used to love August before Steven died, now there's all this build up to his death anniversary on 8/25. Despite all the heaviness, I was really happy to see you had a new podcast episode out yesterday. I'm so sorry it's been such a rough time for you too. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything better for both of us, and the world. Yeah, I'm taking on the whole world too because, why not? Isn't that what sensitive people do? Ugh, I'm getting back under the covers now. Wake me in early September after school starts. Love you 🥰😍🥰😍

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Mesa Fama's avatar

Crawling under the covers too and bringing chocolate chip cookies 😭 I’m sorry that August is so shitty for you too. I love you!! September will be here soon 🖤🖤🖤

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