Dear Self - Get out of the way!
Stuck in my head
A letter to myself because why not. There are no rules anymore. Everything is on fire! Including my brain.
So, dear self-
Please for the love of everything, get out of the way. I know, I know, you’re tired. I get it, but really I need you to take a timeout and let me have my creativity back.
Xoxo- Me
My motivation to write my book has evaporated. Or gone up in smoke. I feel paralyzed at the moment. My brain plagued by doubt, not about my writing, but about *gestures broadly* all of this. So, for now I’m just going to write down my observations to get out of my own way. Maybe it’ll spark something, maybe it won’t.
I.
On my drive to work I watch parents walking littles to school and bus stops, the parents always walk closest to the road, keeping the little as far away from cars as possible. Each one acting as a shield against danger. My imagination went wild with creating little heart shaped bubbles around each of them, wishing with all my might for them to all remain safe.
What happens though when you can’t shield them from what’s coming?
Continuing on my drive, I sneak glimpses at the drivers all around me, each in their own worlds. Who is shielding them? If they were all walking down the street, who would shield them or protect them? Or would they be shielders and protectors? I didn’t conjures bubbles around them since they were in real bubbles, but I wished them safety on their journey.
II.
A conversation took place in my group chat with women whom I love and admire, we’re all writers and fiercely loyal to one another. One of us was struggling and so we banded together and buoyed her with love and encouragement.
Distance means nothing when we’re all speaking from the heart.
Everyone should have that.
III.
A coworker ordered pizza yesterday for us. When she picked it up, she asked for red pepper flakes. The pizza person said, “nothing is free anymore.” So she bought a bottle of flakes.
The phrase has stuck me with though - nothing is free anymore.
Except love.
In a piece I shared yesterday, I asked the question of what it means to be human.
Maybe this is - all of the things we experience and go through or think about.
Maybe it’s as simple and complicated as that.
And maybe now I can get out of my own way.
Maybe…
Dear friends -
Thanks so much for being here and hanging out with my words. I appreciate each of you so very much.
Out of curiosity - do you ever get in your own way? Feel free to share if you’d like!
Sending you all lots of love. And hope.
Xoxo
Mesa,
I get in my own way all the time too. And slowly, I’ve stopped treating that as a flaw. It just is. Part of life showing up with all its mess and mystery.
My life has never followed a neat script—too many interruptions, too many uncontrollables. These days, when I feel thrown off course, I try to meet that inner disruption like an unexpected guest at the door. I make some tea. I ask what it needs. Sometimes it's just tired. Sometimes it wants to be heard. And strangely, when I stop resisting and start listening, the pain doesn’t vanish—but it softens. It becomes bearable. Sometimes even meaningful.
Uncertainty feels like the only true constant now. And in that, I’ve found a strange kind of steadiness. Not control, care. Not knowing, presence.
Your words brought me right back to that—thank you.
Thinking of you my friend
Jxoxo
this. all of this. life. me in my own way, and other folks seeming to be in my way.
looking for the glimmers. the heart shaped bubbles of care that many of us are making. and experiencing.
and being in the unknowing. don’t know what’s next, for me or for the world. do know change is always happening. the pathless path — because i haven’t gone to this new place before so how would i know a path?
wow- your post moved me. moves me.
thank you. always. and again and again.