It is hard for me to believe that I am living at a time that this is happening. 50 years from now I would love to see what is written about all that has occurred. Great post.
Hello Mesa - In my research neuroscience/political science/AI and a bunch of other fun stuff - what shows up is that the digitization of our commercial world took away two fundamental drivers of empathy: tone of voice and eye contact.
It wasn't long until political parties grabbed onto this.
I agree that we all have a choice and that empathy can absolutely be taught and relearned!
I haven’t done much research on the driver of the digital age loosening our reins on empathy, but I can see how it could. I also see how politicians utilize the loss of it to their advantage. Case in point - Elon’s rant on Joe Rogan’s machine about empathy being a weakness.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! (Psych nerd here - degrees in it, but chose not to go into practice.)
LOL. It’s a calling. Here in France we have over 40K round-abouts, each an opportunity for direct eye contact. Our central nervous system registers the data and says “You’re safe” or possibly “Human number 2,342, 496 to not harm you”. The irony is: we are all so incredibly excited as primates to have so many new ways to connect with so many new humans via these funny new electronic boxes (dopamine, dopamine and dopamine) that we’re literally losing the brain chemicals that allow for societal cohesion (oxytocin). The main feature of any fascist regime is to give you the constant impression you are not safe.
I wish I believed that, but I’ve been watching it die for years now. It’s been slow, and now is culminating into what we’re seeing. Are there still good empathetic people in the world? Yes. But, right now we are an outlier. The very real consequences of the loss of empathy as a societal norm is what’s in front of us.
Empathy is THE MOST needed emotion! I frequently quote Dr. Michele Borba who said ( and it rocked my world when I first heard it decades ago and is something I think about most days, even still): “Empathy makes violence and cruelty unthinkable”.
The only way for us to harm other humans is for them to not be humans. The rampant dehumanization and "othering" is what is allowing these atrocities to take place. Brene Brown writes about this in her book Braving the Wilderness. These are scary times, I fear what is coming.
I do too, what's to come is already here and it crushes my soul to think about all the people who are okay with it. Even though I am a student of history and understand psychologically what's happening, the emotional ramifications of what we are living are through will haunt us for the rest of time. We're already a stained nation, these will be fresh scars.
This is gorgeous and gut-slashing. Truly beautiful. I am thinking that you got your flow back. 💪 Loss of empathy, separation, and social unrest will kill us off. And we continue to love, connect, voice out and keep the faith.
you always write with power and truth and love. This is the most shining example of your writing. I will share it people I know who are not on substack or LFL. Thank you for all you’ve written 🙏💕✌️
As a former educator who worked with English Language Learners and their families, my heart breaks every day. I defended families over the years from ignorance and misunderstandings from people who did not know "others" and felt threatened by people who looked different and/or spoke differently than they did. My school and for the most part my school district embraced diversity. I was proud of the steps we took to make everyone feel welcomed and loved.
I honestly never thought I would see this change in our nation. I thought we were moving beyond this as we sang Michael Jackson's " We are the World". Are we the world? Is this who we are? Am I in the minority when I feel this pain everyday? I no longer know
Thank you. I can think of a few things that would stop it. None of them are feasible right this moment without every single person rising up and saying no more.
This is so eloquently written. I read Heather Cox's article this morning about the bill that passed the Senate yesterday, and it made me want to weep.
Sometimes, I feel so helpless to stop the cruelty, the lying, and the dismantling of our democracy. Empathy seems to be in short supply for many these days. All the more reason the rest of us must cling to ours while showing it to others.
Thank you, Mesa. This was brutiful. I'm so wrecked over here, and I'll take that over being hallow-eyed any day. 💔
Me too, my friend. 😭❤️🔥
It is hard for me to believe that I am living at a time that this is happening. 50 years from now I would love to see what is written about all that has occurred. Great post.
Thank you, Nancy. I’m with you!
Hello Mesa - In my research neuroscience/political science/AI and a bunch of other fun stuff - what shows up is that the digitization of our commercial world took away two fundamental drivers of empathy: tone of voice and eye contact.
It wasn't long until political parties grabbed onto this.
But I do believe we have choice here.
I agree that we all have a choice and that empathy can absolutely be taught and relearned!
I haven’t done much research on the driver of the digital age loosening our reins on empathy, but I can see how it could. I also see how politicians utilize the loss of it to their advantage. Case in point - Elon’s rant on Joe Rogan’s machine about empathy being a weakness.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! (Psych nerd here - degrees in it, but chose not to go into practice.)
LOL. It’s a calling. Here in France we have over 40K round-abouts, each an opportunity for direct eye contact. Our central nervous system registers the data and says “You’re safe” or possibly “Human number 2,342, 496 to not harm you”. The irony is: we are all so incredibly excited as primates to have so many new ways to connect with so many new humans via these funny new electronic boxes (dopamine, dopamine and dopamine) that we’re literally losing the brain chemicals that allow for societal cohesion (oxytocin). The main feature of any fascist regime is to give you the constant impression you are not safe.
Oh wow, you look like a new woman.
I feel the empathy emanating from you.
That you feel, see, hear, and intuit all this is profound.
So, you are a new woman.
Inside, and out.
Thank you for your empathy.
I don't think America has lost it entirely.
I think it's just so stressful every day for 4 months now, the population is becoming downhearted and overwhelmed by the quick changes around them.
That's when sanity, calm, our equilibrium, and empathy become obscured.
It's not gone, just overwhelmed hustle now.
I wish I believed that, but I’ve been watching it die for years now. It’s been slow, and now is culminating into what we’re seeing. Are there still good empathetic people in the world? Yes. But, right now we are an outlier. The very real consequences of the loss of empathy as a societal norm is what’s in front of us.
Thank you for your kind words. 🩵
Empathy is THE MOST needed emotion! I frequently quote Dr. Michele Borba who said ( and it rocked my world when I first heard it decades ago and is something I think about most days, even still): “Empathy makes violence and cruelty unthinkable”.
Imagine that…. 🩷
So very true!! Thank you, Gayle!
The only way for us to harm other humans is for them to not be humans. The rampant dehumanization and "othering" is what is allowing these atrocities to take place. Brene Brown writes about this in her book Braving the Wilderness. These are scary times, I fear what is coming.
I do too, what's to come is already here and it crushes my soul to think about all the people who are okay with it. Even though I am a student of history and understand psychologically what's happening, the emotional ramifications of what we are living are through will haunt us for the rest of time. We're already a stained nation, these will be fresh scars.
Thank you for beautifully recording this heartbreaking history for us, Mesa.
This is our shared trauma in this lifetime.
You captured what I’ve been ringing alarm bells about in my own writing…
“We’ve replaced empathy with apathy.”
My gut reaction is that we must all be the ones who walk away from Omelas.
But to do so requires great sacrifice …
The kind I don’t think most people can make.
For me and mine, we are are those who cannot stay.
Xoxo❤️🩹
Thank you, Sage. And I agree it will absolutely require great sacrifice from so many of us.
This… “They came to steal bodies from places that held no danger.”
🩵🩵🩵
There still is hope dear ones. Peace and much love goes out to the world 💛
So much love to you, Doreen 🩵🩵🩵
Powerful piece, my friend.
Gave me chills. Rocked me off center.
I agree, we are not separate.
What happens to one happens to all.
We are all tied by the same thread.
Keep writing. That is your gift to the world, your way of countering all this insanity.
Thank you my dear friend. I appreciate you so much.
This is gorgeous and gut-slashing. Truly beautiful. I am thinking that you got your flow back. 💪 Loss of empathy, separation, and social unrest will kill us off. And we continue to love, connect, voice out and keep the faith.
Thank you, Danni 🩵🩵🩵❤️🔥😭
you always write with power and truth and love. This is the most shining example of your writing. I will share it people I know who are not on substack or LFL. Thank you for all you’ve written 🙏💕✌️
Thank you, Laura 😭😭🩵
It's like an apocalyptic movie. My heart goes out to American friends, bad enough in Canada.
Really and truly it’s horrific.
As a former educator who worked with English Language Learners and their families, my heart breaks every day. I defended families over the years from ignorance and misunderstandings from people who did not know "others" and felt threatened by people who looked different and/or spoke differently than they did. My school and for the most part my school district embraced diversity. I was proud of the steps we took to make everyone feel welcomed and loved.
I honestly never thought I would see this change in our nation. I thought we were moving beyond this as we sang Michael Jackson's " We are the World". Are we the world? Is this who we are? Am I in the minority when I feel this pain everyday? I no longer know
Thank you, Linda. I so very much know exactly what you mean. I would like to believe we’re not the minority. I hold onto that hope. Xoxo
Great post, Mesa. What will it take to stop this horror?
Thank you. I can think of a few things that would stop it. None of them are feasible right this moment without every single person rising up and saying no more.
Every single person must, because this sickening mindset is contagious.
Hi Mesa,
This is so eloquently written. I read Heather Cox's article this morning about the bill that passed the Senate yesterday, and it made me want to weep.
Sometimes, I feel so helpless to stop the cruelty, the lying, and the dismantling of our democracy. Empathy seems to be in short supply for many these days. All the more reason the rest of us must cling to ours while showing it to others.
Thank you for this amazing piece of writing.
Every day something pulls tears from my eyes. I’m doing all I can to hold onto mine. It’s the thing that keeps up human. <3 Xoxo
Yes, the thing that keeps us human. Indeed.