How Dare She
On being brave enough to show up
How dare she
Show up
Fully
Heart on display
Open and vulnerable
Hope filled
A riotous storm of love
And truth
How dare she
Not shrink herself
For you
How dare she be
Exactly who she’s always been
How dare she
Be bigger than you
Than all of us
How dare she
Want human connection
Want community
Want anything more
How dare she
Decide to take up space
Or oxygen in the room
How dare she
Have a voice
And a mind
And words to share
And emotions
How dare she
Feel
Anything
How dare you
For asking her to play small
For demanding her absence
For telling her she had no right
For being so petty about her success
For ignoring her suffering
For being willfully blind to her as a human
Being
How dare you all
Who claim to be champions of women and minorities
Who claim to want to smash the patriarchy
Who claim you lead with love and kindness and support
How dare you treat us
This way
How dare you
Take away the one place
I felt safe
The one place
I felt
Brave enough to show up in
And
Let the words fall out
I didn’t sleep well last night. I can’t stop thinking about everything this year has blown wide open. Bullying as a ripple effect. I would never have imagined that I would experience such a level of vitriolic behavior as I have this year. Not just from the current stupid administration, but from people I thought were my peers.
Everywhere I turn a bully resides there. I feel like I live in the upside down. This can’t actually be real?! And yet. Here we are. I watched a woman show up fully as herself and she was ripped apart for it. How many times have I been there. Too many to count. I’m STILL experiencing it. No matter where I go I am always told to shrink myself. I end up leaving those spaces because why would I stay there when I can see that the goal will always be to get me out.
I’m not jumping ship just yet, but I understand why Glennon Doyle did. She was told this space would be welcoming and kind and supportive.. and so many people decided to prove that wrong.
And now I wonder. And I don’t trust. And maybe I should be a little more careful and cautious. And do people not want to see us be successful. Do they not understand the ecosystem of support here that comes from building and being a part of each other’s communities? Why on earth would anyone want to tear down another human being for wanting a community to feel safe to interact in? I will never understand it.
This is the year I set clear boundaries for myself and just like I chose to distance myself from anyone who voted for this administration out of not feeling safe, I now feel that way about you. If I gain more success will you come for me too? That’s what lives in my head now. It’s a shitty feeling.
We spend so much time saying we need to stand up for each other and root out the patriarchy and girl power and love each other.. I had no idea there were qualifiers for that. I should have, but I chose to believe in something better. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Envy is worse than greed. It destroys from the inside, faster than a wildfire.
I dare you
To look in the mirror
And see
What it means
To be brave enough
To show up.
Thanks, darling. I agree with you, and I do want to acknowledge that though our suppositions are likely on target, part of our reaction is to project what happened, although the evidence ti support our assumptions was demonstrated by a too many people here. I commented yesterday:
"I know her name and her fame, but I’m not familiar with her work. I also don’t know for sure why she left, and projecting meaning isn’t always the best way for me to go, but the uproar had to have an effect. It had an effect on me. Substack is a microcosm of the world. Why wouldn’t there be room for her? I think people shot themselves in the foot. She brought in so many subscribers. I wonder how many people thought that maybe bringing in a whole new audience could benefit us in the long run, too. Oh, well. It’s very sad."
People tend to show their smaller selves when they feel threatened. They play it mean and act like bullies.
The most important thing to me here on Substack is the generosity I've experienced from others and the generosity I get to extend outward. Cultivating it, inspiring it in others, and reading great writing…and hopefully filling a need for the people who choose to read me. I get such a kick out of championing others. But I’ve always been that way. FB and Insta and all the others are tired and weird, and I don’t want to be in those places anymore. Substack is a microcosm of real life. If we aren’t civil with one another it just becomes another dysfunctional system. Not interested in that.
Please don't leave, Mesa. We have to stay and be the people who model what it is to be in community with others. Love you so much. XO
I woke up to a refund for my subscription and had to google what was going on. My heart is just broken over this. I fell in love with Glennon and her writing and her stories and her heart over the past four years and she has been such an important guiding light through a difficult time. What the fuck is wrong with people? I can imagine what this feels like from her side (sort of), and I’m just SO. SAD. she is a beautiful human who came here with an open heart and a desire to be REAL and PRESENT and fucking HUMAN. What a gift she would’ve been to this community.
Semi-related: why is it ok for Liz Gilbert to be here but not Glennon Doyle? Roxanne Gay? Why is it ok for all of the other well-published/well-known writers on Substack but not her??
Gd, at a time we all need each other so deeply, why do we turn on each other and devour? Ughhhhh.