Grief Astronomer Reporting for Duty

Thank you, Andrea Gibson

Come See Me In The Good Light - Andrea Gibson

Upon seeing the news of the passing of Andrea Gibson I immediately wanted to go scoop up Meg and hug her and I wanted to scoop up Andrea and beg the universe not to take this one. This beautiful lightning storm, this supernova, this tender butterfly, this fierce spirit- is there no one to bargain with to let them stay?

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Some deaths affect me more than others, which may sound strange, but it’s true. The loss of Andrea feels like having lost a beloved friend, one I never got to see or hang out with, but who spoke to the fearful side of me, the deepest parts of me that I hide away, and always said “I see you and you’re not alone.”

I remember being introduced to Andrea Gibson’s poetry years ago, and immediately feeling a kinship. They spoke directly to my poet’s heart. More than their writing, they embodied a love of life and a shamelessness that felt like searing truth that invited us all to come together. Their presence impacted my life in so many of the best ways.

One of the first poems that changed me is “every time I ever said I want to die”. The first time I read it I broke down sobbing and felt the words knit themselves into my bones.

I keep thinking about how lucky we all are to have been alive at the same time as

Andrea Gibson

. I mean really, we got to see and hear and share with a living breathing boundless soul. Their body was just the container for something far bigger and brighter than our minds could comprehend, but also they were deeply human, rooted in a love that we don’t yet have words for.

They remind me that some lives are so bright not even death can dim them.

And the stars are shining brighter because one of their own was called home.

Thank you, Andrea. We’ll see you in the infinite.

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(I woke up around 3 am with these words repeating in my head, my poets heart demanding to let the words fall out.)

Grief Astronomer Reporting for Duty (here is what I see) -

You rode in on a bolt of lightning

You were carried out on butterflies wings in love filled air.

You wore your fierce tenderness like a visibility cloak

a beacon for all of us lost and found

You saw us and said I love you - here are all the reasons why

and you named everything we couldn’t let others see.

You offered up your heart and said stay -

so we took your words and knitted ourselves together with pieces of your light.

We knew you couldn’t stay forever but we also knew that if anyone could - it would be you

You- the becomer of lightning and lord of the butterfly

Love and life giver

Supernova bound for the infinite

This world could not hold your brilliance

You belong to the stars.

Thank you for leaving us a trail of stardust to follow in your wake

Dance, sing, play and think of us when you have time and know how loved you are

Always in the infinite.

Andrea Gibson 8/13/75 - 7/14/25

LOVE LETTER FROM THE AFTERLIFE

My love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here.

I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am.

It’s Ok. I know that to be human is to be farsighted.

But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive?

Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer, “How tall are you?”

In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you’d said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories. Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me, and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less.

When you cry I guide your tears toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheek, so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me, for not being able to weep with you. One day you will understand. One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited.

There is nothing I want for now that we are so close I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty your spirit is right now making of your pain, your deep seated fears playing musical chairs, laughing about how real they are not.

My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones, Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples, I am more with you than I ever was before. 

Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night gathering sunflowers into your chest the last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling lighthearted.

I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise it’s the truth. I promise one day you will say it too– I can’t believe I ever thought I could lose you.

-Andrea Gibson